Have you ever stopped and thought about those words spoken the day you were married? Yes, those “thought out” marriage vows. You know, “to love, honor and cherish, till death do us part”. For most of us our mind was not focused on what was being said, but on that wonderful person standing opposite us in front of all our family and friends.
As the years go by and the affairs of life begin to consume us, all too often we push aside those commitments we made on that memorable day. What we thought “love” was then was fun, excitement, a new adventure, a dream come true. At some point our definition of “love” begins to take on a new meaning, we begin to learn that along with our fun, comes responsibility and even work. Hopefully, if all goes well, our true definition of love has deepened and we have increased our need and ability to love each other in a greater way.
Before we were married we had some type of relationship, generally a friendship that developed in to deeper feelings for one another over the course of time. If we go back to that time of our relationship we can see how we were willing to do anything for each other. You can be totally opposed to eating Chinese food but at the mere suggestion of it you are jumping at the opportunity to go to the Chinese restaurant just to spend that extra time with one another.
It has been said that marriage can be the closest thing to “heaven on earth” or to “hell on earth”. Think about that and ask yourself “why is that?” If we have the choice there is probably not one of us who would choose the latter. We're all looking for that bit of romance that we experienced as we stood gazing into the other’s eyes at the altar; or even that friendship we experienced as our relationship blossomed.
This is a new year, why not make the choice that we are going to go back to those marriage vows. Read over them. If you have a copy of your wedding, sit down, make it a “movie night” with your spouse and make a commitment to each other that you are going to “renew your friendship”. Reminisce about the days when you first started going out and all the fun things you used to do together. Then come up with a plan for 2009 to bring that spark back into the relationship.
Remember that it is a choice. There are plenty of life’s circumstances that are all around us that can bring us down, however, our marriage doesn’t have to be one. It really is the way that we view our marriage that creates the atmosphere that we live in. If we desire to be happy, loving one another, investing in our marriage, then that’s the way it will be. Same goes for the opposite. We only have this one opportunity, let’s make it the best it can be!